Why Emotional Intelligence Matters More Than You Think
In today’s world, success is often measured by intelligence—how well we perform in school, the jobs we land, and the salaries we earn.
Traditionally, IQ has been seen as the gold standard for predicting achievement. However, research and experience suggest that another factor plays an equally crucial, if not sometimes greater, role in determining long-term success: emotional intelligence.
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| Photo by Sierra Koder on Unsplash |
What is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional intelligence, or EQ, is the ability to understand, manage, and express emotions effectively. It includes the following factors:
- Self-awareness: Understanding your own emotions and how they affect your actions.
- Self-regulation: Healthily managing your emotions, especially in stressful situations.
- Empathy: Recognizing and understanding the feelings of others.
- Social skills
These factors contribute to better relationships and decision-making. Unlike IQ, which remains fairly stable throughout life, EQ can be developed and improved over time.
The Role of emotional intelligence in success
While IQ can impact which careers people pursue, emotional intelligence actually helps individuals thrive in these roles.
Many high-achieving professionals are surrounded by equally intelligent colleagues. What sets truly exceptional leaders and performers apart is their ability to navigate complex interpersonal dynamics, communicate effectively, and inspire people around them.
The impact of EQ
- Stronger leadership: People with high emotional intelligence are great leaders. Due to their empathy, they are effective communicators and they utilize it to motivate their teams and create positive work environments.
- Better decision-making: Those who can regulate their emotions make less impulsive (more thoughtful) decisions.
- Resilience under pressure: Again, the ability to be aware of own emotions and regulate them, helps to stay calm in stressful situations, and think clearly before reacting.
- Improved relationships: Whether in personal or professional settings, empathy and strong social skills lead to deeper connections.
Emotional intelligence is learnable
Unlike IQ, which remains relatively fixed, emotional intelligence can be improved at any stage in life.
You can enhance your EQ by working on the 4 factors: self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, and social skills.
- Self-awareness
- Keep a journal: Journaling is great for learning about yourself, your emotions, and even where they might originate.
- Practice mindfulness: Meditation or deep breathing (e.g. with this breathing technique) can help you be aware of your emotions.
- Self-regulation
- Pause before reacting: This is simple and actionable: When you are upset, take a deep breath and give yourself a moment before you respond.
- Reframe: This is difficult, but can be very helpful: Try to reframe your mindset and focus on solutions instead of problems. It’s a great way to overcome Anchor Problems.
- Empathy
- Active listening: Focus on the speaker, avoid interrupting, and repeat what you hear.
- Ask open-ended questions: Keep the conversations going and even deepen them by asking questions like “How did that make you feel?” or “What was that experience like for you?”.
- Put yourself in others’ shoes: That’s the core of empathy: try to imagine, and visualize even, how someone else might feel in a given situation.
- Social skills
- talk to strangers: Nothing trains social skills as much as if you talk to strangers. If you are an introvert it might be difficult, but it is definitely worth it: it will make you more open in the future.
- Engage in conversations: Small talk can be a starter for conversations, but you should quickly move to more thoughtful, deeper questions.
Emotional intelligence may not always be the most obvious predictor of success, but its impact is undeniable.
By focusing on developing EQ alongside technical skills and knowledge, you can unlock your full potential and create a more collaborative, compassionate world.